You Used To Love Me
by Ange Malfoy
Summary: Two years into being a DE, Bellatrix has left her past behind her. But it comes back to her in the shape of an old friend... Oneshot based on a bigger fic I'm planning, please tell me if it's worth working on! Warning:very mild torture, hints of femslash


A/N : this is a one-shot based on a longer fic I'm planning on writing. The woman speaking of Bellatrix is an OC I have created. I would like to have your thoughts on this, and if you think it's worth writing a bigger fic around.

This fic will be set in the Marauders' era and will mainly focus on Slytherins. Basically, it is about what it was like to live in those times, to be a Pureblood and a Slytherin during Voldemort's rise to power, with characters like the Black sisters and the OC I have created. But also what's it like to be a Gryffindor when all your life you've been destined to Slytherin, with Sirius Black, and what it's like to be scorned by the Purebloods, with characters such as Ted Tonks and Lily Evans.

Please be understanding, this is my first piece of writing in English ( I'm French ), and I don't have a beta. I'll probably need one though if I decide to write some more, so if anyone is available, that'd be great.

Please be honest, if there are things you don't like, tell me so. But do tell me about the things you like, too.

Thank you !

**You Used To Love Me**

Bellatrix Black Lestrange knows that her moment has come. She knows that the Dark Lord has set this task upon her to test her loyalty. He knows. Of course he knows. He's always known what was in her heart. He knows how hard this will be for her. She will not disappoint him.

She walks into the room and memories, both happy and painful, come crashing back to me. _Bellatrix_. It's been two years, but she has not changed. Her movements are fluid and she strolls graciously across the room, her head held up high, like a goddess walking amongst mere mortals. She always was a bit of a drama queen, I reflect, and the thought makes me smile.

She glares at me and my smile fades away immediately. I can distinctly feel a sharp pain in my chest.

_You used to love me…_

I am sitting on the floor, with my chin resting on my knees. I am barely aware of the tears still running down my cheeks. My long dark hair, so much like hers, is sticking to my wet face. She looks down at me, sneering.

"Look at you, you pathetic, crying wreck," she says bitterly, and I know that she resents me for my choices. I know what she thinks. '_Traitor_'.

I look up into her face, and I want to say something but I can't seem to find the right words. How can I tell her that I've missed her? That I've missed her every single day that went by these past two years, even though I am now happily married and have given birth to a beautiful little girl? There are thousands of things that I would like to ask her. How is Rodolphus? Has she seen Cissa and Meda recently? Does she know about Sirius? My thoughts are running wild and I have to remind myself that this is not old friends meeting again. It is a confrontation. The pain in my chest grows sharper, and I feel like I can't breathe.

"Get up," she orders.

I've never liked being ordered around and I want to tell her to sod off, because, after all, I've got nothing to lose, everything I held dear has already been taken from me. But I don't say anything. I don't have the strength to fight anymore. I have lost my pride and my dignity. And this is Bellatrix and I could never refuse her anything. So I get up and I can see that she is disappointed. She had always felt that easy tasks were unworthy of her attention. She wanted,_ needed_, to be challenged. But this was not going to be easy.

_You used to love me…_

She gestures to the old, battered, wooden table and chairs in the corner. She sits down and I take the sit opposite hers.

We just sit there, looking into each other's face. This is maybe the first time in my life that I see Bellatrix at a loss for words and I can see a mix of emotions pass across her face in a flash. She regains her composure quickly and her eyes turn hard as she graces me with another glare. This was always one of Bellatrix's strengths. That cold façade that she is able to maintain at all times. I used to be able to see past that façade. Back at Hogwarts, she couldn't have hidden anything from me. But today… Today she is unreadable. Somehow, she is different. There is an odd light in her eyes that wasn't there before, something that makes me uncomfortable.

" So," she says, smiling a deceitfully sweet smile at me. She can't fool me. I know this smile. It is the one she uses when she's trying to get something from someone. "Where is your child?"

" I don't know", I answer truthfully, my voice shaking.

Bellatrix hears it and she knows I'm not lying.

"Liar" she hisses, her eyes ablaze with that same frightening glint. She looks slightly frightened. She knows I don't have any answers to her questions. We both know she is going to have to hurt me.

She draws out her wand and utters the dreaded words in an unusually small voice. The spell does not work and she lets out a frustrated cry, staring at her wand in utter incomprehension.

"You don't want to hurt me Bella. That's why it's not working. You have to mean an Unforgivable if you want it to work, you told me so yourself," I say in the most condescending tone that I can manage.

I knew this would work, and I was not mistaken. Anger spreads on her face like wildfire and she points her wand at me, looking determined, and yells "_Crucio_!"

Through the spasms of agony, I know the Dark Lord will be pleased with her. Bella will come to no harm and it is all that matters.

_You used to love me…_

Hours later, I am alone with my thoughts in my cell, curled up under the greying covers on the tiny cot.

I thank the Gods that the Dark Lord had not sent my brother. Apparently, his cruelty didn't go that far. But concern had never been one of the Dark Lord's traits and I suspect he had sent Bellatrix to test her.

The Dark Lord could rest assured. Bellatrix was his, through and through.

Oh, _Bella_. How did we ever come to this? Where along the way did I lose you?

I had lost her. The girl whose whispers I could hear through the night, whose laughter still ringed in my ears, whose screams of rage still terrified me … I heard her, whichever way she chose to express her feelings. She didn't even have to speak But I never heard her scream. And, oh, how I hate myself for it now. And now it is too late. I had not heard her…

I've lost her. _Bellatrix_. My best friend. My other half. My lover.

_I love you._


End file.
